When you’re watching a new episode of your favorite show and someone tries to get you to do something:
That is so accurate that’s it’s scary.
But please stay.
Make my heart pound so loud it forces me to remember I’m alive.
IF YOU ARE A FRESHMAN IN HIGH SCHOOL RIGHT NOW I ADVISE YOU TO DO YOUR BEST SERIOUSLY I THOUGHT HIGH SCHOOL WAS SUPPOSED TO BE FUN AND I DIDN’T DO SHIT AND NOW MY C’S ON MY FRESHMAN REPORT CARDS ARE KILLING ME IN MY COLLEGE APPS AND I WISH SOMEONE HAD TOLD ME TO DO BETTER SO PLEASE LISTEN TO ME IF YOU ARE A FRESHMAN GOOD GRADES ARE COOL
get the fuck out
I want Plankton to plow my ass into the 4th dimension, I want my ass to be the reason he doesn’t give up when he fails to steal the krabby patty formula, I want you to send me to bikini bottom with 40 tanks of oxygen cause I’m gonna be on that dick for 40 days and 40 nights and then some I don’t give a fuck I’ll die riding that dick
please calm down ma’m
I’m a guy
|—||Roald Dahl (via kushandwizdom)|
the concept of the purge is actually really neat but its just the fact that everyone goes for murder as their ‘crime to commit’ like??? why??? i think theyre missing out on the fact that you could steal so many pizzas and not get in trouble
or diamonds, or like break into a mall and shop til u drop, get a new wardrobe, get that Maserati you always wanted, rob a bank and take billions so ur set for life…Murder??? SERIOUSLY???
Those people who constantly reblog your stuff but you never really talk: